For me, inspiration isn’t something that is tangible. I am envious of the people who can find it just by looking. I am an intuitive painter. My work is a reaction to its current state over and over again. I cannot translate external experiences into my work because it is all based on an internal feeling, a false sense of nostalgia that only exists in the mind. It is a balance between being emotionally connected an analytical. I have a list, and I force myself to create. Like most things, it has now become a muscle memory. Turning into something more than just a psychological past, but a full body, collective past. My muscles know what to do to create the effect that I need, and my mind can process its repercussions. It is infused with a natural human quality, organic, and raw.
But what about the moments when it doesn’t work? When my muscles just aren’t doing the right thing? When my mind can’t connect to what it sees and translate it effectively?
I can jump start the mind. I can put myself into someone else’s shoes, find a different perspective on life. While I paint I can bring them all up, a collage of different people and past experiences. A mindset that is no one, and yet everyone, a collective mind that speaks to a shared past. They bring new light to the pieces, a new path, a new possibility. Creating a space for itself that can house anyone’s projections.
Or I can jump start the muscles. The right music can connect the body to the space around it. A flowing melody with a beat that wraps around your hart and lifts you up and out of yourself. One that makes you want to move around and dance in a way that is primal and free. Creating the ability to leave grace and perfection behind, and connect back to the instincts they have built.
The one decision I do make, the one thing I have complete control over is the color palette. I am drawn to blues. It is a color that is so readily available in the world around us. It works to calm us down, like a blue sky or flowing body of water. It is a safer environment but can be sharply contrasted with something warm. A natural balance, with some twists. There is nothing quite like finding the right colors together and having them vibrate and sing. The art is in the use and distribution of the colors, leading the eye around the space. Creating a texture with something for the eye to grab onto so that it’s easier to understand. But they are never based in reality. They are exaggerated and synthetic. A conscious choice to change the feeling of the space. Creating a world that is false, but hazy, like something experienced a long time ago.
I have to admit, I do like the selfish feeling of confidence that I get from creating these pieces, like someone else made them and now I get to enjoy them with the rest of the world. It’s a spiritual experience, where I trust myself, my muscles and my open mind to pull from my own experiences and those of others, to create something that takes up its own space and creates its own context.
Everyone has those moments where inspiration won’t come, where everything is quite. Finding what brings out that feeling that you need, what puts your mind in the right place to be able to be open to new thought processes and experiences and paths. Those are the things to hold onto, to keep in your back pocket, to know that when the time comes you can always go back in and have a plan. Even if you focus on something completely new, having a different experience, or just relaxing. Finding what creates that open mind makes inspiration flow easily.